Despite the glamorous Jimmy Buffett mythology, there’s nothing cute about the aging beach bum — Until you hit thirty, you can deal with almost any indignity life throws at you with casual bravado and magnanimous grace. You can sleep in a dumpster, eat at Arby’s, wear clothes you found in someone’s attic, and still have sex with all the beautiful people you can muster. It’s…

A poem, a plunger, and my epic struggle to reconnect with our youngest child after the ravages of addiction — I first heard the poem back in 2006. It was read aloud on the radio by a famous performer who has since lost favor in the eyes of the literati, so he shall remain nameless. I was struck by the simplicity of it at the time. The vivid detail and…

The art of being alone without being lonely, or one man’s semi-solitary adventure through time and space — “We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all…

Despite our many technological advances and the collective knowledge of mankind in our pockets, what do we really know? — I find it fascinating, upon periodic reflection, that despite all I’ve learned and all I know, I still have strong opinions about things I actually know very little about. I have spent countless hours researching the multitude of ways in which our brains deceive and delude us daily, our many…

Professional sports, as integral to humanity as art and music, are a marvel of human achievement and a triumph of spirit — They’re games, children’s games, often involving a ball, a net, some sort of court, rink, or field of play, and some cockamamie set of rules you seem to have to be born into to understand. They are essentially meaningless activities, with little discernible benefit to society, at great expense. Yet…

In the early days of photography, a few police departments embraced a new technology, and the mug shot was born — He stands confidently, weight firmly on his back foot, posture relaxed and steady. His jacket and vest are unbuttoned to reveal a tie tucked into his shirt. He looks away as if he sees something amusing, but it’s clear he knows he’s being photographed. …

In which I explore my obsession with a few of my favorite things — I bought a catcher’s mitt the other day for reasons that are not entirely rational or easily explained. I do not play organized sports anymore, let alone baseball, and my children are all grown. I do have several grandchildren who are active athletes, and even three or four who play…

The lessons we learn as we move through life — I entered the venerable halls of Clegern Elementary loaded for bear. Armed with the preternatural ability to read, a natural-born gift of discernment, and an inordinate amount of self-confidence for a six-year-old, I was prepared to take on all comers. …

Any criminal trial supersedes his desire to return to the White House, and he should be given no quarter or special treatment — According to the US Constitution, there are only three qualifications for being president. You have to be at least 35 years of age, you must be a natural-born citizen, and you must have lived in the country for the past 14 years. That’s all the founders included. …