Ellemeno Magazine

A Journal of the Writing Life

I’m annoyed that writing magazines suck so badly.

They’re bad. The design is bad. The writing is bad. The ads are bad. They’re nothing more than thinly-veiled shills, selling mostly worthless shit to those who merely aspire to be writers, and they’re not even good at doing that.

Most writers don’t have any understanding of design, and often the people who create these publications think the words are all that matters. I beg to differ. Style matters. Design matters. Also, stop treating readers like they’re idiots. This shouldn’t be a Dick and Jane starter.

I want a magazine that talks about the things that inspire writers, not articles on how to sell more freelance bullshit to clickbait websites. I want to read well-written, nicely designed, beautifully festooned pieces that make me want to put the magazine down and go write, but not before I finish reading this piece.

I don’t follow through on too much of anything, and I’m known for making a fuss and then getting bored and moving on, so this likely won’t be any different. My problem isn’t creating the magazine. Not the design or the layout or building the website. It’s reading a bunch of horrible submissions and trying to be nice about it. I hate that. I have no patience for, well, most things.

I don’t know anyone else who wants to do it either. I’m just constantly doing things because no one else is doing it the way I want it. If someone ever bankrolled this shit I do, we’d both make some money. I hate the business side of things.

So this is my idea. A magazine about the things writers do when they’re not writing. Good writing about life. It has to tie back but it’s not a lesson plan. Surfer’s Journal is a good example. No advertising. Not cheap. Well done. Extremely satisfying. You don’t even need to be a surfer to enjoy it.

Ellemeno. It’s a word I’ve been toying with for years. It’s the phonetic version of saying the four letters l,m,n,o.

Writer, director, photographer and journalist with an interest in politics, humor and garden gnomes.

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